Dad abandons 11-year-old son after his mom passes, gets angry when his new wife and kids can't stay at his guardian aunt and uncle's house for 2 weeks: 'His wife is becoming resentful of him not being around'

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Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Jul 20, 2024 6:00 PM EDT

The loss of a parent is difficult at any age, but it is especially tough when you're a kid. If that wasn't hard enough, if your living parent isn't able or willing to take care of you, it can feel like you're functionally an orphan. That's what happened to George, the 11-year-old nephew of a Redditor in a bit of a predicament. Her sister died a couple of years ago, and because her brother-in-law was unfit to parent his son after marrying his new wife, she took George in. Over the past 18 months of him living with her and her family, she's tried to help him rebuild his relationship with his dad, which has made slow progress. After only having one-on-one time together, his dad, Eric wanted his new family to stay with George's aunt and uncle for an extended period, despite his obvious discomfort and his aunt and therapist's disapproval.

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10376532992
    via Eduardo Barrios

    Photo does not feature the real subject in the story

  • 02
    AITA for telling my nephew's father he cannot stay at my house with his wife and her kids?
    via u/BudgetPop8081
  • 03
    My nephew "George" lives with me and my family. He is my sister's child, but she unfortunately passed away a few years ago. Her widower, "Eric” remarried quickly. George didn't get on with Eric's wife and kids and Eric paid no attention to him. 18 months ago he came to live with me.
    via u/BudgetPop8081
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    Eric visits George at our house for one weekend a month, a longer visit during the summer, and we took him to see Eric at Christmas time. All of these visits are without his wife and her children, as the therapist feels it's important for George and Eric to rebuild their individual relationship. I won't say facilitating this has been easy. I love George like he's my own child, and to watch Eric flounder with a child he was supposed to take care of breaks my heart. It's hard for my husband too. A
    via u/BudgetPop8081
  • 05
    Anyway, Eric is meant to be coming to us in August for two weeks. A few days ago, he asked if he could bring his wife and her kids. Apparently she has been having a really tough time and is desperate for a holiday, as are the kids (). Eric also said it's been a real strain to keep his wife and kids away from his son and splitting time has been hard and he really wants to start mending the relationship between all of them. I was livid, but I went and spoke to my husband, and then to George. Georg
    via u/BudgetPop8081
  • 06
    to Eric and said I couldn't control where his wife and the kids are, but they won't be staying with us. If he wants to bring them, they can stay in a hotel and when he is not visiting George he can do what he wants. I made clear that I am upholding what's been recommended by the therapist George sees (which Eric knows because he has check-ins with the therapist).
    via u/BudgetPop8081
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    Both Eric and his wife have been up my about me not letting them stay. I have not blocked her because I like to collect evidence of what kind of person she is to send to Eric when he tries to act like she is not awful. Eric is saying he might not be able to come at all now because organising childcare for the kids is going to be hard, and his wife is becoming resentful of him not being around, etc. Basically because I'm doing this, George might not see Eric at all for more than a weekend until C
    via u/BudgetPop8081
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    WhizzoButterBoy · 23 hr. ago NTA. Eric's wife wants to treat your house like a vacation ?? [??? You're not a hotel ffs Is Eric paying you any child support for caring for his son ?? Does he compensate you when he stays at your place ?? You were going above and beyond for your nephew, while Eric is dropping the ball. Keep up the good work
    via u/WhizzoButterBoy
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    BudgetPop8081 OP. 23 hr. ago Eric pays an amount into a trust account for George when he's older. We didn't want to take money for looking after him but I also think Eric shouldn't be let off providing for his child so that's the compromise. (This has been a huge bug bear for the wife but it's in a contract) No he doesn't compensate us for staying with us. He pays for his journeys to and from though
    via u/BudgetPop8081
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    YoureSooMoneyy - 22 hr. ago NTA!! This is absurd. Erics wife is ruining his relationship but Eric is allowing it. I would let it die now so George can move on. Quick and dirty. It's coming anyway so why drag it out?
    via u/YoureSooMoneyy
  • 11
    bagleybags 21 hr. ago Sound more like Eric couldn't be alone and dumped his child to play dad to someone else's kids. New wife may be awful but that's not her responsibility.
    via u/bagleybags
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    Consistent-Ad1051 20 hr. ago No one is asking Eric's wife to take responsibility for George, they're asking her to take responsibility for her OWN kids for 2 weeks while Eric tries to salvage the relationship he's severely damaged with his own child since he married her. And Eric's wife is literally demanding that the SISTER of
    via u/Consistent-Ad1051
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    her husband's dead wife allow her and her children to stay at her home for free as "a holiday". Like who wants to host their dead sister's husband's new wife anyway??
    via u/Consistent-Ad1051
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    Winter-Lili 22 hr. ago Tall the therapist about this and have him/her talk to Eric about what kid of damage this will do to the little progress he's made with his son
    via u/Winter-Lili
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    RachR23 20 hr. ago I REALLY hope OP sees this comment! The therapist has the highest chance of making Eric see the wood for the trees. Also, poor George. I'm so glad he has you.
    via u/RachR23
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    Additional-Tea1521 22 hr. ago First of all, thank goodness George has you. You are doing such a great thing for him by making him and his wishes important and making him feel loved. You have established trust with him, and you are doing the right thing by taking his needs and requests into your decision making.
    via u/Additional-Tea1521
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    Secondly, Eric . I would tell him that he will lose his son if he does not abide by his wishes. He already does the bare minimum with his son, and even that he does not follow through with. His son lost his mother, and not Eric is basically making him an orphan. Third, the wife is awful. She is definitely interested in making this as hard as possible so Eric drops George or vice versa. If Eric chooses his new family over his son, George will likely never forgive him.
    via u/Additional-Tea1521
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    Finally, stand firm and put everything back on Eric. His choices have led to this outcome. Every choice he made putting his son last led to this You are NTA, and Eric needs to understand that you are not making this harder on him, HE is making this harder on everyone by putting everyone over his son.
    via u/Additional-Tea1521
  • 19
    Ambitious-Border-906 22 hr. ago Not that I'm cynical or anything but do you have proof, beyond Eric saying he is, that Eric is actually putting any money aside for George. Given every other stunt he has pulled, it wouldn't surprise me if that account either doesn't exist or is being plundered at will by Eric and Wife #2!
    via u/Ambitious-Border-906
  • 20
    BudgetPop8081 OP. 22 hr. ago I would never trust him with that. The trust was started and managed by my parents, who made the initial contribution when George was born (they made one for my kid too). Eric is paying into it and my parents would know if he wasn't.
    via u/BudgetPop8081
  • 21
    101037633 23 hr. ago It's not you ruining your nephew's relationship with his father. You're doing the best you can. And, honestly, it's your nephew that needs your support more. Eric is choosing his new family over his son. And that's really sad. But, there's nothing you can do about this choice, save to support George. I'd be tempted to tell Eric's wife to kick rocks.... But, my patience level with that type of BS is astronomically low. Good luck. George is lucky to have you.
    via u/101037633
  • 22
    This is hurting me because Eric has been making a good effort until now. And George had been starting to trust him. I just feel like I'm ruining it. But if I let them all stay then Eric won't get any one on one time with George anyway (the wife will make sure of that) on top of us all having hellish houseguests. I am trying to enforce this boundary so that Eric has to man up and prioritise his son but maybe I'm being too harsh because it might end up the opposite.
    via u/101037633

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nephews kid stepmom wife bad parenting reddit story bad parents widower aunt dad uncle reddit thread parent Reddit nephew son parents
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